Thank you Master Xiao for reviving the nearly extinct paidalajin self healing method and introducing it to us, thank you to those who had encouraged me and shared their self healing experiences, thank you God for giving me the chance to self-heal... after practicing paidalajin everyday and experiencing many episodes of healing crisis, I finally began to menstruate again after 11 months of menopause.
Ever since I started having my period, it had never been regular. It had always come whenever it wanted, sometimes bi-monthly, other times tri-monthly. It would always come light and lasted only for 2 or 3 days. After about 7 years when I was well beyond my puberty, my menses were still irregular, I became very impatient and frustrated. So finally I told my doctor during my regular health check, and got my hormones tested. It turned out all my gynecology-related hormone levels, from that of the pituitary gland down to the ovaries, were all over the place. My doctor said the only way to become regular was to take the contraceptive pill. I asked a lot of questions then, "would this cause cancer?", "not likely, nowadays the dosage is quite low; we often prescribe the pill to women with irregular menses"; "would I gain weight, have pimples?", "no patients have ever come back to us with these problems, if you ever experience these problems, come back to me and we can try another drug." How wonderful I thought, this frustrating irregular period problem can finally be fixed! My work health plan covered the pill for medical reasons, so I deserve this benefit! I happily got my pill, and ended up taking it for 20 years!
At first I did doubt if it would be ok to take the pill for the long term. But since my annual blood test and pap smear turned out fine, and I didn't want to have children after I got married anyway, plus different Western doctors always said "there is no direct relationship between taking the pill and cancer", I continued to take the pill without any doubts. It was not until two years ago, did I really start wondering whether it would be a problem to take the pill for such a long time. Not long ago, there was this billionaire in Hong Kong named Nina Wang, who died of ovarian cancer because she overdosed on the pill. But I still continued taking it. I was only forced to take the matter seriously at the end of 2012, when I went for my regular health check and got suggested to have a mammogram and cancer tests immediately. Little had I known, I had become a cancer high-risk patient after having taken the pill for 20 years! It was not until then I read the pill's package insert carefully, and discovered "the excess (cancer) risk gradually disappears during the course of the 10 years after cessation of COC (combined oral contraceptive) use"! Ten years! It takes ten years for the cancer-causing factor to go away! But the ridiculous thing was, though the pill was so poisonous, after all the tests came out ok, the doctor did not suggest I stop taking the pill, but only to change to a low dosage one for post-menopause women, to prevent osteoporosis. And if I decided to change to a low dosage pill, I would still have to go back every year for mammogram and cancer tests.
After going home, I thought about this for a while, and thought that I would be really crazy if I continue to take the pill. But I still decided to take it for another month, because I would be having a vacation to Japan in two weeks where I would visit the hotspring, and I didn't want my period to come and ruin it. Crazy me, right? Haha, but now that I have discussed the menstruation topic more often with other women, I realize many women would take the pill to manipulate the timing of their menses. I think that's one of the reasons why the pill is selling so well - there are detailed instructions in the package insert on how to advance, delay, or stop the period from coming - it's so convenient! Especially in China or in Hong Kong, anyone can buy the pill from any drug store just off the street. There is no need for doctor's prescription, very convenient and cheap.
I stopped taking the pill in January 2013. Since my hormone levels were all over the place to begin with, and I took this 'poison' for so long, I knew I would have to take care of my body. So I went to see a Chinese medicine doctor. After the diagnosis, the doctor said I had serious problems with my heart, liver, spleen, lung, and kidney, and I was severely yin-deficient. It would take years for my health to recover, and I would have to go for herbal medicine and massage therapy every other day. Since my health was really bad then - I started having night sweat, losing hair, insomnia, and experiencing chronic fatigue some three, four months ago (and I had always had bad temper), I had no other choice but to follow his suggestion to visit him every other day to get my herbal medicines and have massage therapies. At first I was quite patient, but then I started losing it. There were no signs of improvement. I was still suffering from something as 'easy' to cure as insomnia, and of course my period hadn't come. Also it was very tiring for me to go through 4 hours of this ordeal every other day. I also wondered how much pesticide and heavy metal I must've consumed for having taken so much Chinese herbs. And the bill was getting expensive too. So I stopped going after having stuck to it for about three months spending about ten thousand dollars.
After this I still hadn't given up. I hoped I could find a 'genuine master' Chinese medicine doctor specialized in gynecology. Preferably he would be an acupuncturist, so I wouldn't have to take anymore pesticide and heavy metal herbs. And I really found him! This 'miracle doctor' had cured many woman-problem patients with his self-developed 'blackwater acupuncture'. His clinic was filled with photos he took with celebrities and patients' thank you letters. But, again I was disappointed. It turned out this 'miracle doctor' charges $2,000 per consultation, and I needed to go see him everyday, continuously for 40 days! He said he had cured many women who otherwise could not conceive, and those with uterine fibroids and heavy bleeding. He also said he didn't want to charge so much, but his clinic was at a first class location in the central of Hong Kong, he's got to pay rent. I thought, how lucky I was that I didn't want kids nor suffer from heavy bleeding, $80,000 to have my period to come? Don't come then! (Since I had this experience with the 'difficulties' of a 'miracle doctor', I empathize with similar stories mentioned in Master Xiao's book.)
At about the same time, my husband bought me Master Xiao's Chinese book. Everything in the book made so much sense and so easy to understand; "the truest way (Tao) is the simplest". Marvelous! I detest complicated and cumbersome matters, paidalajin suits me perfect. In addition, the gynecology symptoms described in the book - misalignment of the lumbar and sacral parts of the spine, knee problems, often have depression - are my symptoms too, so I started following the book to lajin against the corner of the wall and paida. First time I did lajin, my knee was in excruciating pain like it would be torn! But for some reason, I thought this would work, so I continued to lajin for about three times a week. It was so extremely painful everytime, but I increased the lajin time minute by minute. After 3 months I could lajin for 15 minutes each leg. I also started paida, but I didn't know what it meant by 'thorough paida' then, and I didn't do it regularly, only whenever I have time and whenever I felt like doing it.
After I half-heartedly did paidalajin for three months, my period came, but it only lasted a day and a half, very light, and with lots of blood clots. After that one time, my period stopped coming. This made me very anxious, together with intense work pressure, night sweat, insomnia, hair loss, chronic fatigue, and mild depression, I finally made the decision to quit my job. I was determined to get my health back. I joined YiXingTianXia's 7-day paidalajin workshop in Shenzhen in June 2013.
After altogether 14 months of paidalajin, my health greatly improved. But that was not the biggest benefit. The biggest benefit was my mind and body can now communicate. Through paidalajin and seeing the changes in my body, feeling the healing crisis, I started to reflect on all the things that went wrong in the past, pondered on why my health had deteriorated to such a point, and I began to respect the needs of my mind and body. Below are some of my experiences and reflections:
1) Too much cold in my body led to irregular menses - I grew up in cold Canada. And no matter what the temperature was, even when it was -10ºC or lower in the winter, I would normally only wear jeans to school, even when the walk to highschool took half an hour. I remember I always needed to warm up my red- or purple-frozen legs in the washroom first thing after I arrived to school or after I got home. I believe all these cold accumulated in my body had led to blockages of the Qi and blood flow in the meridians, and was the main reason for my irregular menses.
2) Too much consumption of the pill led to my already weak Qi and blood flow to be even weaker - Normal volume of menses requires good blood flow; normal timing of the menses requires good Qi flow. With the pill, my Qi- and blood-deficient body was able to menstruate regularly for five days. Where did my uterus get the needed Qi and blood from? From other parts of my body! For each month in 20 years, in order to menstruate regularly, Qi and blood from other parts of my body subsidized my Qi- and blood-deficient uterus. This led to severe Qi and blood deficiencies in all my essential organs - heart, liver, spleen, lung, and kidney. In addition, the chemical makeup of the pill is very poisonous and would lead to increased risk of heart diseases. These were all laid out in the package insert, unfortunately I was young then and thought my heart was healthy, and didn't take these warnings seriously. Now I thought, the pill would lead to heart problems; heart problems are due to blockages in the heart meridian which would lead to depression; does this mean the pill would lead to depression? After searching on the internet for a while, I found a research report by the Monash University in Australia citing the positive relationship between the pill and depression - "Women taking the oral contraceptive pill are almost twice as likely to be depressed than those not on the Pill" （http://monash.edu/news/releases/show/240）, along with some other information on the negative health effects of the pill.
3) Gluttony led to serious blockages of the stomach and spleen meridians - Ever since I was a child, I have always eaten too much. I loved buffets! Whenever I did well at school, grownups would take me to buffets as rewards. Perhaps they thought it very worthy to have kids eating adult portions but only paying children's price, the more I ate the more happy they were, and I was happy too! After grown up, similarly I would always overindulge in food, and wouldn't stop eating until my stomach stuck out so much that I couldn't sit straight. I knew this was not good, and my stomach would always feel bad afterwards, but digestive enzymes helped resolve the problem. My only concern was whether I would get fat, but my BMI (Body Mass Index) tests always came out saying my fat level was fine. It was not until I went to the paidalajin workshop experiencing healing crisis of my stomach - I kept burping, that I realized my overeating habit had caused much suffering to my stomach and spleen and resulted in blocked meridians. Even now I am not completely rid of this overeating habit, at times when I enjoy myself too much I would still forget and overindulge, but I can often detect when I am 70% full now.
4) Eating too much 'cold' food led to an already cold body to be even colder - I used to love cold drinks as a teenager, and drank fridge-cold orange juice and soy milk like water. After grown up and realizing the importance of health, I got misguided by Western nutritious philosophies and believed green tea was healthy, and I drank green tea like water everyday. Now I know green tea is 'cold'. Also since I often ate too much, I usually would 'balance' it off by eating only salad and fruit the next meal. Having consumed so much cold food might also be a reason for my weak stomach and spleen, which resulted in me having a cold body. I am very cautious about what I eat now - I try my best to avoid cold food, drink ginger date red sugar soup every day, eat three pieces of raw peeled ginger every morning, eat less meat, and if I make my own pan-fried vegetables I would always fry it with some ginger.
5) Lajin to expel the cold - The cold-expelling effect of lajin is excellent! Right from the start when I only did lajin against the corner of a wall with each leg for 15 minutes three times a week, till now when I do lajin on a lajin bench with each leg for 30 minutes and 10kg weights per leg for five times a week, I could feel cold being expelled from my body. Initially I could feel cold being expelled from my legs, then I could feel cold being expelled from my body, and in the late stage I could feel cold being expelled from my heart, stomach, and uterus. This feeling was especially acute when I laid flat on my back before I fell asleep - a very interesting feeling!
6) Lajin to reset the bones - It is so true to say lajin is the way to reset the bones. There were many times when I could hear the sound of 'ka' from my bones when I just finished loading myself on the lajin bench. I believe this is 'bone-setting'. This had happened to my whole backbone, from my neck way down to my lower back. When I first started lajin, my back bone was 'S' shape, after a while it became '\' shape. My back is still a bit crooked now, and not completely '∣' yet. Perhaps this was due to my impatience; haste makes wastes. After I came back from the workshop I read a lot of testimonials saying how they would bundle 10+ kg of weights to their lower leg, so I did the same and bundled 15kg of weights to my lower leg. This pulled my lower back up, and I tried to lower it by placing a 5kg weight on my lower belly. I did lajin like this for many months and didn't realize this ill position could be a problem. It was not until recently I noticed my back was still '\' shape and my knees still cracked when I squat, then I realized perhaps I had not stretched my knee and back tendons properly. Sure enough, after I reduced the lower leg weight back to 5kg and positioned myself properly and did lajin again, my knees felt so painful like they were going to be torn, just like how it felt when I first did lajin. My knee tendons were still severely Jin-Suo (tightened). Luckily I detected the problem early and corrected it quickly. Now I would make sure my position is correct every time before I lajin, and I have gradually increased the weights back to 10kg on my lower leg. I also discovered if I hold my arms really straight and had my palms open during lajin, I could feel Qi in my palms; this helps unblock the meridians.
7) Illness of the heart (depression) - I have lots of 'illness of the heart', other than being impatient, I also had depression. In 2005 when I was undergoing great pressure I got depression. I couldn't sleep at all and I couldn't control my tears. I didn't see any doctor nor take any anti-depressant. I 'self-healed' through attending counseling courses, understanding the causes of my depression, staying away from sources of pressure, and 'forgive'. I got myself together and lived normally again. However, since then, I noticed whenever I was under great pressure I would easily fall back to the depressed state, and tears would drop for no obvious reason. Tears dropped uncontrollably just when I was coming out of the anesthetic of a minor surgery I had several years ago; tears also dropped uncontrollably when I meditated for a long time once. These two incidents told me I still had a lot of negative energy stored inside me yet to be released. I kept seeking ways trying to change this. I tried seeking salvage from Buddhism, Christianity, Yoga, Psychotherapy, Hypnotherapy, and various schools of philosophies. These all worked. I understood myself more; understood the 'natural world order' and 'unspoken rules' more and became more accommodating; I became less negative and more positive, but I could feel there was still a lot of negative energy inside me.
This went on until others slapped my Pang Guang Jing at the Shenzhen workshop. I cried and "saw" and "heard" painful sufferings from years ago appeared in my mind, and I felt the 'hurt of my heart' got relieved. In the months to come, this healing crisis of the heart re-surfaced again and again, but each time less severe and leaving sooner. Recently, in a paida gathering, myPang Guang Jing got slapped again, and again I cried, but what I 'saw' and 'heard' was another past painful suffering which had only previously appeared in my nightmares, a bygone incident which I thought no longer affecting my daily life. It's so unbelievable that paida has the power to drive out 'hurts of the heart' from our subconscious and dissipate them with tears. Though the process is really painful, the 'paida pain' is really nothing compared to the pain of the heart, a pain of the living hell. So, brothers and sisters, hang on!
8) Paida to drive out the toxins - Perhaps due to weak health, even though lots of Sha appeared during the 7-day workshop, my health hadn't greatly improved like how some fellow participants had. The white powder Sha (drug toxins) only started to appear after two continuous months of paidalajin, and detoxing continued eight months later - in February, after I fasted three days to do intense paidalajin, my husband said I was full of chemical smell. After nine months of slapping at least 3 hours everyday - taking turns slapping my head, common areas, Dai Mai, lower abdominal, lower back, my butt, thighs and calves, or wherever healing crisis appeared, my overall health condition improved. My heavy bottom (my weight loss experience:http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_5dc946a60102ekgt.html), night sweat, hair loss, insomnia, chronic fatigue, and bad temper improved an average of 80%. But my period still hadn't come. Moreover, it became very difficult for Sha to be slapped out of my thighs. Though I could see Sha clumps underneath the skin, I couldn't get them out even after three hours of heavy paida. I had to hammer my thighs heavily using the side of the paida stick to have clumps of hard Sha finally come out. And then my period finally came the next day. It came for five days, with normal volume and colour.
Even with this big breakthrough, I dared not to be too happy. The feeling was that there were still blockages in my meridians. If my period would only come after such heavy hammering, I couldn't say things were back to normal?! So I dared not discontinue with my daily habit of paidalajin. Sure enough, my period didn't come the next month. Two weeks later, I sensed that I must hammer my thighs again. I heavily hammered each thigh for 4 hours in two days. And then, my period came the next day, also five days and with good volume and colour this time.
9) Conclusion - The whole 'experiment' of paidalajin proved that till now I am still Qi- and blood-deficient, there are still blockages in my meridians, and I am still not completely rid of the contraceptive toxins (I could still see white powder toxins appearing in some areas where I had not slapped for a long time). But this also proved that paidalajin works amazingly. Because according to the package insert of the pill, it would take 10 years for my body to get back to normal, and my Chinese medicine doctor said it would take him years to restore my health. Moreover, I had never experienced drug-free menses of normal volume and colour. Thank you God, for giving us this gift of self-healing, thank you Master Xiao, for promoting the self-healing method; I will continue to paidalajindiligently, I look forward to the day when I would finally be Qi- and blood-healthy, with flexible tendons and aligned bones. I will also remind myself to put down my ego. I believe only when I put down my ego completely would I be able to ride through life's happenings as they come, be able to live contently, and fully self-healed... I hope all women who read this will take care of themselves well, and not be so silly and headstrong with their bodies like I was; do not 'fix' your body like how you would fix a malfunctioned 'machine'.
En
2014.05.27
